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Dive into the seductive sequel to "The Sex of It," where we invite you into the allure of leather fetishes. Join sexologist Marieke de Graaf and journalist Ottelien Devilee as they guide you through the fiery realm of BDSM with passion and safety in mind. Just as Harry enchanted Charlotte with his leather couch and premium sound system in SATC, prepare for an intimate journey filled with desire and excitement.



How do leather fetishes influence sexual desires and dynamics within a relationship?

Marieke laughs, ‘Leather fetishes can enhance sexual desire. The unique sensory experiences that leather offers, such as its smell, feel and sound, can heighten arousal. These stimuli can evoke strong associations and excitement in people with a leather fetish. Within a relationship, this can open up a new layer of intimacy. It’s fantastic to explore your relationship, pre-la or sex buddy dynamics together.’ 


Marieke’s golden tip is to experiment! However, it’s important that both partners communicate openly and support each other to ensure everyone feels comfortable and respected. 


What are the psychological reasons behind a preference for leather in sexual contexts?

The preference for leather in a sexual context can be deeply rooted in our psyches. It is a fascinating interplay of power, control and excitement. Leather often evokes images of authority and dominance. Which can heighten erotic tension for both the wearer and the observer. The shiny, smooth surface of leather accentuates the body contours, providing a sensual and visual stimulus. 


For many, leather symbolizes rebellious freedom and non-conformism, inspired by iconic figures in the media and subcultures that push boundaries. These associations can evoke a sense of adventure and forbidden pleasure, making the wearer feel both powerful and irresistible. 


Additionally, early experiences and exposure to leather in sexual contexts during development can have a lasting impact on our preferences. The smell, sound and texture of leather can evoke powerful sensations that become deeply ingrained in our brains. Which later emerges as potent sexual triggers. 


What role does leather play in BDSM* practices and why is it such a popular material within this community?

*The term “BDSM” refers to sexual preferences and role-playing that involve imposed physical restrictions, intense sensory stimulations, or the playing of power games (role-play). BDSM encompasses many different activities, relationships and subcultures. Everything is done with consent.*


Leather plays a prominent role in the seductive world of BDSM. Where power, discipline and authority are central themes. The robust and sturdy material evokes feelings of safety and control for both the wearer and the submissive. The shiny, form-fitting texture of leather accentuated bodily contours, adding to the erotic atmosphere. 

The aesthetics of leather enhance the rituals of BDSM, making every experience visually and sensually intense. Wearing leather can be a powerful statement. A symbol of dominance and submission that brings deep-seated desires to the surface. 


Leather is popular not only for its physical properties but also for the rich symbolism and tradition it carries. In the BDSM community, leather is an homage to traditions of power and rebellion. A sign of dedication and intensity. It transforms every encounter into a ritual of power and surrender. Where every touch and movement is infused with sensual energy. 



How can partners set and respect safe and respectful boundaries when experimenting with leather in their sex lives?

Safety and respect are the foundations of any seductive and thrilling experience with leather. It begins with open and honest communication between partners. Before giving in to the temptations of leather and other sensual adventures, it is essential to discuss your desires, boundaries and any concerns. 


Establish clear agreements and introduce signals to indicate when it’s time to stop. In the tantalizing world of BDSM, this is often referred to as a safeword. A magical word that halts the play immediately, if it becomes too intense. Regular check-ins and mutual consent are crucial to ensure that both parties always feel safe, respected and comfortable. 

Whether Marieke, or maybe I, myself, experiment with leather in the bedroom?
Who knows ;)

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